If I Were a Plastic Surgeon

If I were a plastic surgeon I would move to Newport Beach and set up a shop strictly dedicated to CORRECTIVE Surgery. I would also have a psychiatrist on staff to tell the woman with the pussy lips that more collagen would be a mistake. Why this sudden altruistic idea? Because I spent my Superbowl Sunday "behind the orange curtain" and it was not pretty! I am in no way against plastic surgery. A little nip and tuck here is fine if you feel the need to "freshen up". I wish now I had the foresight to bring my digi cam because words cannot do the scene justice but I will try

• A lady dressed from head to toe in blue leather complete with blue stilletos with cowboy fringe attached to the heel. Her nose was the size of the smallest nose in the Mr. Potatoe head playset. Her head was a teeny tiny baby head and she had pussy lips on her face
• A "lady" who used to be a man but now was a woman. We saw her leave with several men and each time after about 10 minutes the man came back looking frightened and embarassed. Ironically, the shemale had enough knowledge to forgo the pussy lips at least on his face I can't say for sure what was going on south of the border
• A lady who was going bald from bleaching her hair platinum blonde but decided that pasting extensions would help out (it didn't). She also had on a white fur shaw and matching tea cup maltese. It was raining and overcast that day so naturally she had sunglasses on. She had BIG Pussy lips (my apologies to the sopranos)
• A man with a long ponytail who was a professional network marketer. One of his companies involved the peddling of latex clothing to sex shops and porn production sites. He gave me his card and told me to call him if I wanted to model for his business cards. Sweet! A second career. Did I mention he did this right in front of my husband.
• A lady with bad hair extensions curly on top and straight at the bottom looked like she put the trash from the doggy grooming place on her head. She had "on the way to becoming" pussy lips
• A lady with bad blonde extensions and pussy lips
• A lady with bad blonde extensions and pussy lips
• A lady with bad blonde extensions and pussy lips
• A lady with bad blonde extensions and pussy lips
• A lady with bad blonde extensions and pussy lips
• A lady with bad blonde extensions and pussy lips
• A lady with bad blonde extensions and pussy lips

Is the point clear? I thought so. Oh and I forgot the two kickers for the evening:

1. At the end several old old old old drunk ladies; their faces looked 97 but the rest of them looked 210. One of them was calling for Raymond to get on the bus and Raymond did not want to be found but that didn't keep her from bellowing and crawling on a table. sigh...she's probably someone's gammy

2. The woman who was so fascinated with men who put gel in their hair she kept touching my husband's hair to see if it was crunchy or soft. When I told her if she reached out again she'd pull back a nub she stopped.

Oh Newport Beach you're such ripe pickins for the right surgeon!